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Literature
Gratuitous Rapid Weight Gain or, Hot Girl Gets Fat Veronica stormed imperiously down the hall, confident in the knowledge that nobody else in that college building nor any other on campus was as simply sexy as she was. She had dyed purple hair, a tight white shirt, a short black skirt, and awful grades. No wonder, she thought to herself, she was able to get a date with the captain of the football team. Even if their college’s team was awful, he was still the captain and that meant something. And tonight, if her current looks were any indication, she was absolutely going to fuck him. She checked her reflection in a nearby trophy case, nodded approvingly, and continued on her way. Remembering that she didn’t have any gum on hand to freshen her breath, Veronica went for the next closest thing in her bag: a mint. Much to her great disappointment, however, the little plastic box was empty. “Shit!” she shouted out loud. “I need a mint if I’m going to have any shot at kissing Matt tonight! Or Mark. Or whatever his name is!” She was